We are officially looking for a new church. It is not a mental place that we came to lightly; lots of tears, prayer, advice, counsel, sadness, and hope went into our decision.
Looking for a new church is the worst (of the white-people problems, that is). We don’t know where to start, and we are committed to keeping an open mind, but we do have two things that are very important.
The first is a good children’s ministry. That is pretty much a no-brainer, but we want it to be somewhere that you and your brothers want to go every week and to be a place that helps to teach you Biblical lessons every week, rather than just being a glorified babysitting service.
The second one is going to be a bit tricker: we want it to be somewhere that has women in pastoral roles.
See, hopefully, when you’re old enough to appreciate these notes, the idea of preventing women from being in all positions of leadership strictly because of their gender will seem antiquated and quaint, sort of like “bombing for peace” or “yelling for quiet” (something that Daddy needs to work on NOT DOING).
But the reality is that today, there are many people who, even though they love Jesus with all their hearts, have a false idea that women should not lead or preach to men. There are pockets where this isn’t true, of course. Sarah Bessey talked about (though I can’t remember where) the shock and despair she felt realizing that there was not a place for her “at the table” after moving from a Christian tradition in western Canada that celebrated and honored the gifts of women to a more conservative (read: backwards) interpretation of women’s roles in the South (this is not to say that this problem is necessarily one of geography, of course).
For another example, just ask my mother — your beloved Mimi. She has been a college Bible professor for well over 20 years; she is literally the smartest woman I know. Once, before I was really old enough to fully grapple with it, your Grandpa told me that Mimi struggles with her calling, knowing that she has been given a gift and a charge to do what she does, and yet she still has to battle subtle prejudices from unexpected directions.
Do I want you to grow up and go into full-time ministry? Honestly, I don’t. But I want you to be exposed to strong, capable women in as many fields as possible, so that you grow up knowing that you can literally do anything you want.
Furthermore, I want your brothers to be exposed to those same women, because I want them to grow up knowing that strong, capable women are to be celebrated and encouraged, and that it is both ok and even desirable to work with and for both women and men. I want them to grow up to marry strong, confident, capable women. I did, your Grampa and your Papa did, and we are all better because we did so.
Love, Daddy
Becoming Daddy 